A Drop In The Ocean
by iamkellylouise
Summary: It was angry, angry sex, angry sex that gave them something that one didn't think he wanted and the other never thought she'd get. Addex.


**A/N: Ok, so lets just say Addison doesn't visit Seattle until Rebecca/Ava goes crazy in the S4 finale. And let's also say that from the S3 finale to the S4 finale the time period was 6 months. Thank you =) Reviews please!**

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As she stares down at the pregnancy test(s) in her hand she can't help but think about how she got there. It was just one (more) time, well times but all in one night so it only counts as one (She can't help but laugh about the fact that she's trying to justify sex). He was upset and if she was honest so was she because they were shouting and screaming and they were both crying and then they were slamming his bedroom door shut and they were on the bed, grasping onto each other. And it was a night of the most intense sex she'd ever had. The first time had been rough, because they were so hyped up with anger. The second was a little more fun, flirty almost. And the last time. The last time, dare she say it, was like making love. Even though she knew it wasn't.

She watched him care for Rebecca (Ava, it would always be Ava). She watched how broken it made him. She heard the other residents talking about it. She knew the story. And she needed to be there for him. Ava had been the point of many things between them. The beginning and the end. She had to see him. So she got the address from Callie and got straight in a cab. Izzie let her in with a curious eyebrow and told her to go straight up. She stood in his doorway, watching him stare into space.

"Alex" she said softly.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she could hear the sneering tone to his voice.

"I just wanted to see if you, if you need anything"

"Just leave" he said hoarsely, she of course ignored him, walking further into the room and sitting on the bed next to him.

"I'm sorry"

"Whatever"

"Not whatever, I'm sorry, about Rebecca, I'm sorry"

"Just get out" he said firmly.

"Alex" she sighed, he stood up and walked over to his bedroom door.

"Get out"

"It wasn't your fault, you did…."

"Don't. Don't say you did everything you could because I didn't, I could have done more, I could have saved her" he said the tears streaming down his face.

"Alex, she was sick, this isn't your fault"

"No! It's yours!" he shouted.

"What?" she spluttered.

"You made me care, you did this"

"You're not making any sense right now you do get that!" she shouted back.

"I didn't care about patients until you, you taught me how to get attached, you did this"

"I taught you no such thing, _you_ got attached all by yourself so don't you _dare_ blame me for this" she could feel the tears in her eyes.

"I'll do whatever the hell I like"

"Oh grow the fuck up Alex!" she snapped.

And with that Alex slammed the door shut and pushed her onto the bed in a rough kiss, and she should have stopped it, she knew she should have stopped it but there was still that little (okay not so little) part of her that still wanted him. Even if he only ever wanted her for sex. She knew it was pathetic of her.

~x~

She left before he woke the next morning. Luckily not running into Izzie or Meredith. She was on a plane back to LA within the hour. And then it's 6 weeks later and she hasn't stopped throwing up all week. So Naomi and Violet literally drag her off to the women's bathroom with 4 pregnancy tests in tow. And she calls them crazy. Because it was Naomi who told her she couldn't have kids. But they all know that there was always still a chance. A very small one. But there was a chance all the same. So she pees on the sticks. And she waits. And every damn one is positive. And then she's crying. A mixture of happy, sad and angry tears. Because she wanted a baby more than anything. Because he would probably run a mile. Because it had to be_ him _who got her pregnant. And then she's in her car 3 hours later with an overnight bag and an ultrasound picture in tow and she's making the almost 2 day long car journey to Seattle. Because the wind in her hair might clear her head just a little bit. It doesn't. And then she's back at that house. And Izzie's answering the door again with the curious eyebrow and she's back in the doorway of his bedroom.

"We need to talk"

She sees him almost jump out of his skin.

"Wha….what….what are you doing here?" he stutters, she stepped in shutting the door behind her, she digs around in her bag and pulls out a small zip lock bag that held the 4 positive pregnancy tests and a scan, she hands it to him with a shaky hand.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asks disbelievingly.

"I just drove for 2 days Alex, do you _really _think I'm joking?"

"No, I know it's just…."

"I know" she sighed taking a seat next to him "I don't expect anything from you, I have everything I need so, you don't have to be involved"

"Do you want me to be involved?"

"Do you _want_ to be involved?"

"You drove for 2 days thinking I wouldn't want to be involved?"

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone and, I needed perspective, I thought driving might give me it but, no, my heads still all, cloudy"

"You live in LA"

"Uh, yeah"

"I want to be there but, you live in LA"

"We'll figure it out, I should, get going" she said standing up.

"You're leaving?"

"I have to get back to work"

"You've just drove for 2 days straight, you must be exhausted, you've got to think about the baby now too Addison, stay, sleep, you can leave in the morning, we still have things to talk about"

"Ok" she sighed "Turn around"

"What?" he laughed.

"I'm not letting you watch me change"

"Addison, I hate to break it to you but, I've already seen you naked" he said with a smirk.

"When we were having stupid impulsive sex, and we're not doing that, ever again, so, turn around"

"Ok then" he laughed, she quickly changed into a pair of pajama shorts and an old ratty 'I Love NY' shirt and climbed into the bed.

"Night" she mumbled.

"Night"

~x~

She knows she can't just leave like she did the last time but she has to get out of that bed. Mostly because she needs to pee and she's dying for a drink, so she climbs out of the bed and successfully finds the bathroom without being seen. But she knows that won't last long. And she doesn't even want to know what Izzie thinks is going on. She makes her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, she doesn't notice Derek sat reading the paper at the table. Until he says her name and she jumps out of her skin.

"Jesus christ! Derek!" she almost yelled.

"Don't shout at me your the one in my girlfriends kitchen!" he said with a laugh.

"Sorry, I uh, sorry" she mumbled "Ok, where the hell are the glasses?"

"Top cupboard next to the refrigerator" he answers automatically, he watches as she opens the refrigerator and pours herself a glass of orange juice and then walks over to the table and sits down across from him with a sigh.

"Addison. What are you doing here?" he asked slowly.

"Oh y'know, just thought I'd stop by and say hello to my good friend Meredith" she said sarcastically.

"Addie" he scolded.

"I drove out here, got here last night"

"Why?"

"I'm 6 weeks pregnant with Alex Karevs baby" she's actually surprised at how easily that came from her mouth, and he actually drops his paper and she's grateful that he wasn't drinking anything at that point because she _knows_ it would be all over the table right about now.

"But, what, but, but, wha...what are you talking about?" he manages to choke out.

"When I was here 6 weeks ago we had sex and now I'm pregnant"

"What?"

"Do you _really_ need me to say it again?" she sighs.

"Why did you have sex with Alex Karev?" he exclaims.

In the end she just thinks 'fuck it' because it's not going to be a secret forever "We had a thing before I left and he broke whatever heart I had left so really I should hate him but then the stuff with Rebecca happened and I had to see how he was so I came here and one minute we're shouting at each other and the next well, baby making, and I should have stopped it because I knew, I just _knew_ it meant nothing to him but I missed him that much that I let it happen so yeah, I'm a pathetic excuse for a women who's now pregnant with the baby of a man who doesn't give two shits about her"

"That's not true"

Addison again jumped, her head snapping over to the door where Alex stood leaning up against the frame.

"You weren't supposed to hear that" she whispered.

"Shepherd can you give us a minute please" Alex said with a slight anger in his voice.

"I'll be in the living room" Derek said kissing Addison's cheek "If you're happy, I'm happy"

"Thanks Derek" she said quietly, they remind quiet as Derek left the room.

"You seriously, _seriously_ think I don't care about you?" Alex asked incredulously.

"I didn't mean that to sound the way it did"

"Yeah, well neither did I"

"What?"

"When I said 'you're not my girlfriend' I didn't mean it to sound the way it did"

"I'm not getting in to this Alex"

"Well considering you were so eager to leave last night maybe we should!" he shouted.

"Well _maybe_ I should just leave!" she shouted back.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you run away from everything?"

"Hey! I didn't run, I walked, I walked away Alex because I was sick of being used, I was sick of it so you do not get to talk to me like that!"

"Well then can you just accept that I care about you and discuss this with me"

"Fine"

"Fine" Alex said sitting down in the chair opposite her.

"Well, you wanted a discussion, discuss"

"You should go back to LA, I'll fly out once a month for scans and checkups, I'll be at the birth, every time you need me there I'll be there"

"So you just want to see them every month, that's how this is going to work"

"What else do you suggest Addison?"

"I don't know" she mumbled.

"Then we'll start it like this and see what happens"

"Fine, ok, if that's what you want"

"It is"

"Ok then, so I'll just, go and get dressed, then I should go"

"Ok"

"Ok" Addison said standing up and leaving the room, Alex groaned and dropped his head onto the table.

"Ahem" Alex heard from behind him, he turned around to see Meredith, Izzie and Derek all stood with their arms folded and small smirks across their faces.

"Just don't, don't start" he sighed covering his face with his hands, he dropped his head back onto the table with a heavy sigh, it took Addison 10 minutes to get herself dressed and ready to go, she walked back into the kitchen nervously.

"Alex" she said quietly, he snapped his head over to her "I'm gonna, go and see Callie and then I'm going so, I'll call you ok?"

"Can we, can we talk, I'll walk you to your car" Alex said standing up.

"Ok" Addison nodded "Bye guys"

"Bye" Derek, Meredith and Izzie all said quietly, Alex and Addison walked out of the house quietly, she opened her car and threw her bag onto the passenger seat.

"So…." Addison started.

"I know I've screwed up with you in the past, I know I've said some hurtful things but, I will be there for this baby, that I promise you, you just have to trust me"

"Ok" Addison nodded "I trust you, I probably won't have a scan for another 6 weeks, if you want to be there then, that's your call, you'll have to try and get the time off and then there's the flight and everything and…."

"Addison" Alex said cutting her off "I'm going to be there, call me and let me know ok?"

"Ok" Addison sighed "Well uh, goodbye then"

"Yeah, bye" Alex nodded, he leaned in a placed a soft kiss on her cheek, his hand placed on her stomach, he stood back and let her get in her car, he waved her off as she pulled off, he let out a sigh before walking back into the house.

~x~

Addison blamed her hormones for the tears that fell down her cheeks as she made the short drive to Callie's apartment, she parked her car outside and walked into the apartment complex and up the stairs, she reached up and knocked on the door, she guessed she shouldn't have been surprised when Cristina opened the door.

"Dr Montgomery, uh, hi" Cristina stuttered.

"Hi um, is Callie here?" Addison said wiping the stray tears from her cheeks.

"Sure, come in" Cristina said letting her in "Torres!" she shouted "Door for you"

"Addison!" Callie smiled walking out of her bedroom "What's wrong?" she frowned when she noticed her tear stained face.

"I'm pregnant" Addison whispered hoarsely.

"What?" Callie gasped "But I thought, I thought it wasn't possible, I thought your friend Naomi said you couldn't and…."

"Well, there was always a chance, I had 2 eggs left but, this is real Cal" she said handing her the ultrasound.

"Wow" Callie gasped "Congratulations Addie" she said hugging her "Wait? Why did you come here? There's a thing called a phone Addison, why were you crying?" she said pulling back.

"Hormones" Addison mumbled.

"And the real reason" Callie said with a raised eyebrow.

"Alex is, Alex is the father" Addison said lowering her head.

"As in ALEX?" Cristina exclaimed from the kitchen "Uh, sorry" she mumbled when Callie glared at her.

"Oh Addison" Callie sighed "What were you thinking?"

"I don't even know" Addison said flopping herself down on the sofa "One minute we were screaming at each other and then…."

"What the hell is it with you two and doing that?" Callie smirked.

"Shut up" Addison groaned.

"Y'know, I'm just gonna, go to work, leave you two to, be girly" Cristina said grabbing her bag and leaving the apartment.

"So, what are you going to do?" Callie said sitting down next to her.

"He's going to come up for the scans and then once a month to see the baby, for now anyway"

"Well, I guess that's good right" Callie said softly "You still want him don't you" she said squeezing her hand.

"I can't want someone who doesn't want me, I've done that before and it's not so fun, and now I have the baby and, I can't want him, he doesn't want me, he wants Ava, and I know she isn't here anymore but, I just can't, I can't" Addison said tearfully "This is so screwed up"

"I'll be there as much as I can ok?" Callie said squeezing her hand.

"I should get going" Addison said wiping her face "I've got a long drive back so, I should go"

"Ok well, call me when you get home ok?"

"Ok" Addison smiled hugging her "Don't beat on him too much"

"I won't" Callie laughed.

~x~

Addison moved through the next few weeks with minimal contact from Alex, she just couldn't bare to hear his voice, when there was contact it was him who made the call. Every conversation was the same. How are you feeling? Any problems? Anything you need? And that was that. It was 6 weeks later when Alex finally flew out to see her. They met at the practice ready for the next ultrasound.

"Hey" Alex said as he stepped out of the elevator to see Addison waiting for him.

"Hey" she said quietly "Naomi's waiting for us so, we should…." she said backing towards one of the exam rooms, Alex nodded and followed her.

"Hey" Naomi smiled "You ready"

"Ready" Addison said hopping up onto the exam table "This is Alex, Alex, this is my best friend Naomi"

"Nice to meet you" Alex smiled.

"You too" Naomi said almost reluctantly, she pulled up a stool next to Addison and squeezed the gel onto Addison's bare stomach, she took the wand and began to move it around on her skin, the sound of the heartbeat filled the room, the image of the 12 week old fetus appearing on the screen.

"Wow" Addison whispered "It feels more real now, now that, now that I've heard the heartbeat, it feels more real"

"It's pretty amazing huh" Naomi smiled "Perfect size as well, looks healthy, I'm impressed Addie"

"Me too" Addison laughed.

"Ok well, do we want pictures or video, or both"

"Uh, I'll take both, please" Alex stuttered "Izzie and Callie both want to see so…."

"Together?" Addison asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah" Alex said with a laugh "It's weird, they're kind of putting their differences aside or whatever, said that their best friends are having a baby together so they kind of don't have a choice"

"Wow" Addison muttered "That's more surprising than me actually being pregnant"

"Yeah" Alex laughed.

"Well, the DVDs should take a few minutes so, I'll go, you guys talk, you have a cute fetus Addie" Naomi said kissing her cheek before leaving.

"She doesn't like me" Alex smirked.

"She's just being protective best friend" Addison said wiping the gel off her stomach and pulling her shirt down "She'll come around when this one gets here, when she told me I couldn't have kids it broke her heart too so this, this is good for both of us"

"She told you you couldn't have kids" Alex said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah" Addison sighed "I thought I told you that"

"Uh, no, you didn't" Alex stuttered.

"When I first came out here, the day after, us, I decided to have a baby, by myself, the falling in love, getting married, having kids thing obviously wasn't something I was going to have so I decided to do it by myself, so she ran all the tests and they came back saying I had high FSH levels and an antral-follicle count of 2, so that was that, so this baby is kind of a miracle"

"Wow" Alex muttered.

"I know" Addison sighed "How's everything back in Seattle? Nobody's threatened to kill you right?"

"No" Alex said with a laugh "Shepherd asks after you alot, I think he feels weird about calling, the Chief is a little annoyed that you didn't tell him yourself" he said with a smirk "And Sloan just ignores me, but that's not really any different than usual"

"Well, that's, ok, that's ok, tell Derek if he wants to call he can stop being a wimp and just call, and I'll call Richard" she said with a laugh "And Mark will sulk for a while but, he'll get over it"

"Right" Alex nodded "Well, I uh, I bought something, for the baby, I know it's early but…." Alex said digging into his bag and pulling out a small white onesie, he held it against his chest, the words 'Stop Staring, I Really Am This Cute' written across it, Addison couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"It's great Alex" she smiled taking it from him "I love it"

"It's completely corny but, I saw it in a shop window and, I don't know, it's stupid" he shrugged.

"Alex" Addison said softly "I love it" she said standing up and hugging him, Alex wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent, nuzzling his face into her hair, Addison suddenly started to cry into his shoulder.

"Hey" he said softly "Hey what's wrong?"

"Oh god I don't even know" Addison sniffled "This happens alot" she said with a laugh.

"There must be something" Alex said pulling back a little and wiping her tears.

"Alex, I'm fine" she whispered "I'm just, exhausted"

"Why don't we go back to your place, my flights not until tomorrow morning so, I'll stay with you, you can get some sleep"

"Ok" Addison said wiping her eyes "Thank you"

"We'll be ok Addison, we can do this"

"We can do this" Addison breathed.

~x~

Alex is introduced to everyone at the practice before they leave to go back to Addison's house. He comes to the conclusion that he has some serious work to do to get into their good books. When they reach Addison's house Addison makes them both a cold drink before they collapse onto the sofa in an awkward silence.

"So uh" Alex started "How are you?"

"I'm good" Addison nodded before they dropped back into the awkward silence, they looked up at each other and took a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

"What the hell is wrong with us?" Addison laughed.

"I have no idea" Alex said with a sigh.

"It's just, I guess we, we never really talked, before, there were moments, but that's all they were, moments"

"Yeah but, those moments meant something" Alex said softly "At least they did to me"

"They did to me too" Addison said biting her lip a little "I want an honest answer now Alex, I, I really need to know why, why you didn't want me?"

"You scare me" Alex said quietly "You're just, you're so amazing Addison, you're beautiful and smart and funny and, and you want someone who's going to be the family guy, the barbecues and catch guy, and that scared me, so I pushed you away, I didn't want to hurt you Addison, I just had to, I had to let you go"

"This baby needs a barbecues and catch guy Alex" Addison said quietly "So are you going to run away again? Run away because you're scared"

"You mean like you did" Alex retorted.

"I didn't run, I walked, I walked away Alex, I walked away because I couldn't stay there anymore, I needed a fresh start, I needed new people and a new place, I needed something that was just mine, this is the first house I have ever owned that is just mine, I didn't run away, I walked away, but I will _never_ walk away from my child"

"Neither will I" Alex said simply "I'm not that guy anymore Addison, I've grown up"

"Good" Addison said firmly "I've let myself get hurt too many times, I can't let this child get hurt Alex, I just can't"

"I know" Alex said softly, he let out a small laugh when Addison gave off a huge yawn "Why don't we take a nap Addie"

"We?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes we" Alex said simply, he stood up and held out his hand "I don't know where I'm going, you'll have to show me" Addison smirked a little and took his hand, she led him upstairs to her bedroom, she climbed on top of the covers and let out a heavy sigh as she lay down, Alex climbed onto the bed next to her and spooned her body, his hand resting protectively on her bump, hers covering his, it didn't take them long to fall asleep in each others arms.

~x~

Alex left the next morning leaving Addison with a kiss on the cheek and a big hug before he got down on his knees and kissed her small bump over and over. They promised that they'd call more this time. When Alex arrived home he was bombarded by questions from Izzie, he merely laughed and said he had to call Callie over, there was something they needed to see, so then it was himself, Izzie, Callie and Meredith all sat on the sofa waiting for Alex to hit the play button, as soon as he did Izzie and Callie let out squeals to which Meredith and Alex laughed.

"It's amazing right?" Alex smiled "That's my baby, that baby, is half mine"

"That is one perfect little fetus" Callie smiled "How's Addie?"

"Tired and hormonal" Alex said with a small smirk "But we talked and, we're good, we'll be fine I think, I hope"

"You will be" Meredith said squeezing his hand.

"That's a really strong heartbeat for 12 weeks Alex" Izzie smiled "Your genes obviously mix well"

"Yeah, I guess" Alex said with a laugh.

"What are we watching?" Derek asked walking into the living room.

"Your ex-wife's uterus" Meredith said with a small smirk.

"Wow, look at that" Derek smiled "That's amazing Karev, congratulations"

"Thanks" Alex smiled "Oh and she said that if you want to call stop being a wimp and just call" he said with a small smirk.

"I'll keep that in mind" Derek laughed "How is she?"

"Good" Alex nodded "Tired, but good, she's got a little bump now and everything"

"I think I might come with you next time" Callie smiled "When are you going again?"

"6 weeks" Alex smiled "Hopefully we'll find out the sex, she wants to know so she can decorate the nursery and everything"

"That's it, I'm coming with you" Callie said simply "I need to see this house anyway, she's like in love with it"

"It's amazing" Alex said with a laugh "It's so….Addison"

"I'm gonna go and call her" Callie almost sang walking out of the room.

"You haven't stopped smiling since we turned it on y'know" Meredith smirked.

"I know" Alex said with a grin.

~x~

Addison and Alex are on the phone almost every day for the next 6 weeks. And with relief to both of them they actually find themselves getting along. And Alex can't help but laugh when Addison changes her mind on whether she's carrying a girl or a boy at least twice a week. And then it's time to visit again and Alex is joined by Callie on a flight out to LA and they decided to meet at Addison's house this time. And Alex feels well and truly ignored when Callie bounds out of their rental car and straight into Addison's arms and they're squealing and jumping around all the way into the living room.

"Hi Alex, how are you? Oh I'm good, I'd quite like to see the mother of my child but I'll wait until she stops squealing, how are you?" Alex mocked.

"Oh shut your whining" Addison laughed walking over to him and hugging him tightly, her 18 week bump pressing against him, Alex kissed her cheek softly before getting down on his knees and kissing her bump "Hello baby, it's Daddy, I've missed you" he said kissing it again "I hope you're being good for Mommy baby" he whispered, he kissed it again before standing up with a grin "How are you feeling?" he asked rubbing his hand against it.

"I'm good" Addison nodded "I'm actually enjoying the pregnant thing now"

"Good" Alex smiled "When can we go and have the scan?"

"I'll just show Callie the house and then we'll go"

"Ok" Alex smiled "You look good Adds"

"Thank you" Addison smiled "I feel good"

"Good" Alex laughed, he couldn't help but smile as Addison excitably showed Callie around the house, and then they were in Addison's car and on their way to the practice where Alex yet again became slightly invisible as Callie was introduced to everyone, he was relieved to find that everyone was a little more welcoming towards him. And then they were back in the exam room with Addison ready and waiting on the table, Alex sat on one side of her, Callie on the other, Naomi putting the gel on her stomach and quickly pulling up the image.

"There" she smiled softly "Perfect"

"Perfect" Addison said tearfully.

"And you wanted to know the sex?" Naomi asked.

"Yeah" Addison smiled "I kind of already know since I can read that thing like the back of my hand but you have to say it ok?"

"Ok" Naomi laughed "Well, you're having a little girl, congratulations Addie, and you Alex"

"We're having a girl" Addison whispered "We're having a girl Alex"

"We're having a girl" Alex grinned kissing her temple softly.

"Congratulations guys" Callie smiled.

"We'll give you a minute" Naomi said sending the image to print and the DVD to burn "Come on Callie, I have cake in the kitchen"

"I'm there" Callie said following her out.

Addison sat up and wiped the gel from her stomach before hugging Alex tightly "Thank you" she whispered into his ear.

"You don't have to thank me" Alex said softly.

"I kind of do" Addison smirked.

"You don't" Alex said kissing her forehead "I can't wait to meet her"

"Me neither" Addison sighed "We have a daughter Alex" she said bringing his hand to her bump.

"We have a daughter" he smiled softly.

~x~

They have lunch at the practice and Alex seems to make progress with all of her friends, he actually bonds a little with all of the guys and he catches Addison's eye at one point and she's got a smile on her face, a smile like no other he'd seen from her, it was a true smile, a genuinely happy smile. That evening he left Callie and Addison in the living room flicking through baby catalogues as he showered, when he came back down the stairs he stopped when he heard them talking, not wanting to interrupt or listen, but then he heard something that made his ears almost prick up.

"So, how's the whole 'still in love with him' thing going?" Alex heard Callie ask.

"I don't even know anymore" Addison sighed "I don't know what I feel"

"Or maybe you do know what you feel but saying it out loud will make it more real"

"I can't be in love with him Cal, not now we have the baby to think about, I'd rather us just be good friends raising this baby together than have me pining after him, making a fool out of myself, and then having him walk out on the baby, I can't do that"

"Have you even spoken to him Addie?" Callie asked softly "How do you know he doesn't love you?"

"Because he didn't want me!" Addison exclaimed "He wanted Ava, he _loved_ Ava"

"Addison there isn't an Ava anymore! Ava is gone! And he didn't even love her!"

"How do you know that?"

"Because it was just, it was so obvious, he didn't look at her the way her looked at you, he just didn't, and the way he talks about you Addie, you can see the love in his eyes, he just doesn't know how to tell you"

"Let's just, stop talking about this" Addison sighed "I can't talk about this"

"You can't just wish it away Addison, if the feelings are there then they're there"

"They'll go eventually" Addison said quietly "The feelings, they'll go, they have too"

"Addie, I hate to break it to you but if the feelings were going to go, wouldn't they be gone already? When you got pregnant you were still in love with him and that was after 6 months of trying to get over him"

"It doesn't matter Callie! He doesn't love me like that, I'm fine with it just, just shut up about it now, please"

"I just want you to be happy Addison" Callie said softly.

"I am happy" Addison smiled "I'm having a daughter Callie, something I didn't ever think I'd get, I'm happy"

At this moment Alex chose to walk in "Hey" he smiled sitting down next to Addison.

"Hey" she said softly.

"So, have you picked anything out yet?" he said gesturing at the catalogues.

"Yeah" Addison smiled "I was thinking, this pink for the walls" she said handing him a color swatch "And then this line of furniture" she said pointing out to a dark mahogany crib in one of the catalogues.

"They look perfect" Alex smiled "Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help set up?"

"You have work Alex" Addison sighed "I have man power, Sam's just next door, Pete's offered to help put the furniture together, Naomi wants to go shopping with me, I'll be fine, I swear"

"If you're sure"

"I'm sure" Addison smiled.

~x~

Alex visits on his own a month later, he tries his best not to let on that he heard her conversation with Callie and he feels like he pulled it off. They keep the phonecalls up and Alex hates that he's missed the things like the baby kicking. It's when she's 7 months when he gets a phone call that changes it all.

"Alex Karev" Alex said answering his phone as he sat in the kitchen eating breakfast with Izzie, Meredith and Derek.

"_Hey, it's Naomi"_

"What happened?" Alex asked instantly.

"_She's fine Alex, they're both fine, she just collapsed that's all"_

"The mother of my child collapsed and you're saying _that's all_?" Alex exclaimed.

"_Alex, calm down, she's fine, she just got a little dehydrated but we've put her on fluids, she'll be home in an hour, she'll be fine, she didn't even want me to call you, they're fine Alex, I promise you, I just thought you should know ok?"_

"Right, right sorry I uh, thanks Naomi, for calling, I'll be on the next flight out"

"_Alex that really isn't neces….." _

Alex quickly hung up the phone "I need to go to LA, Addie collapsed, she's fine apparently but I can't not see her, right? I'll call the Chief on my way there" Alex said quickly.

"Karev" Derek said firmly "Take a breath"

Alex took in a deep breath and let it out.

"Good, now go and pack a bag, I'll take you, I don't think you should be driving when you're all panicky"

"He's right Alex" Izzie said softly.

"Right" Alex breathed "I'll be right back" he said running from the room.

~x~

"So…" Derek started as he rushed Alex to the airport "When are you going to give it up and admit you love her?"

"Wha….what?" Alex stuttered.

"Karev" Derek smirked "You're so in love with her"

"No, no I'm not, I'm not" Alex stuttered "I mean, of course I have loving feelings for her, she's carrying my child, it would be, stupid if I didn't love her but, I don't, not, like that, I can't like that, it just, it wouldn't be a good idea, I'm bad at relationships"

"Alex" Derek sighed "If you didn't love her I wouldn't be driving you to the airport right now, and it's pretty obvious she loves you, just by the way she talks about you when I call her, you Alex, she talks about you more than the baby sometimes"

"I just don't want to screw it up" Alex sighed "It's not just about me and her now, it's about me, her and, and our daughter, I can't screw it up"

"You won't, I have faith in you Karev, what have you got to lose?"

"Her" Alex said quietly "And the baby, I could lose them both"

"If you don't tell her you love her, I will"

"Ok" Alex breathed "I'll, I'll tell her, I will"

"Good" Derek smiled.

"Can we stop by a jewelers before we get to the airport?" Alex asked suddenly, Derek looks at him in confusion and then realization before nodding in reply.

~x~

It's the early evening by the time Alex manages to get to LA and he heads straight for Addison's house, he gets out of the cab and figures that with all the cars that are parked outside of Sam's house they're probably out on the beach having one of their practice bonfires, he heads straight for her gate and lets himself in and is instantly faced with everyone sat out on Sam's deck, he moves around to the other side of the wall and says "Hey" loudly.

"Oh my god" Addison said standing up and moving over to hug him "What are you doing here?"

"Naomi called, I wanted to make sure you were ok" he said hugging her, taking in the feel of her much larger bump.

"There's this thing called a phone Alex" she laughed "And I told you not to call him" she said looking at Naomi.

"And I told him not to come out here" Naomi smirked.

"Addison, we need to talk" Alex said shakily.

"What's wrong?" Addison frowned.

"Callie was right"

"About…."

"I didn't love Ava, I cared about her but, I didn't love her, and I did want you, so much, and then I heard some stuff about barbecues and catch and, it freaked me out, but now we have the baby and, god Addie, I'm ready, I'm so ready, I want us to have Sunday barbecues and teach her to play catch and, I want us to be together, I've never stopped loving you Addison, and i'll never stop, which is why, which is why I got this" he said pulling a ring from his pocket, Addison who was half frozen gasped a little "Marry me Addison Montgomery" he said with a small smile.

"You eavesdropped on me!" she exclaimed hitting him on the shoulder.

"Maybe a little" he mumbled, Addison took a beat before flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips "Is this a yes?" he mumbled into her lips.

"Of course it's a yes" she said kissing him again "I love you, ass"

Alex couldn't help but laugh, he took her hand and slipped the ring on her finger "I'm sorry Addie, for everything, I'm so sorry"

"Alex" she said cupping his cheek "I couldn't care less anymore, here, feel this" she said putting his hand on her bump "She's been going crazy in there since you showed up"

"I've missed her" he said stroking his thumb against her "I've missed you"

"We've missed you too" Addison said softly "I have something to show you" she said with a small smile "Come with me" she said taking his hand and leading him towards her house.

"Ah-hem" Naomi coughed, they both turned back and smiled sheepishly at everyone.

"Congratulations guys" Violet said with a laugh, they both grinned at them and carried on back into Addison's house, she led him up the stairs and into the bedroom next to hers, she opened the door to reveal the fully decorated nursery.

"Addie it's, perfect" Alex smiled "She's going to love it"

"I moved the furniture around like, 6 times, well, Sam and Cooper did, they wanted to kill me by the end of the day" she said with a laugh "But it's finally done, this is for next to my, _our_, bed" she said showing him the moses basket "I want her in with us for the first few weeks"

"Me too" Alex said softly, he pulled her in for a kiss "Let's get some sleep ok?"

"Ok" Addison yawned, she led him to the bedroom, they both stripped down to nothing, wanting to feel their skin touching again, Alex spooned Addison's body, his hand placed softly on her bump, they both let out a laugh when the baby kicked against his hand.

"Night Addie" he whispered kissing the back of her neck.

"Night" she whispered back.

~x~

Alex is back in Seattle 2 days later and all packed up and back in LA within a week. Everyone sends love and presents back with him. Even Mark has come around to the whole thing. As soon as he's in the house they're having sex. Addison says she knows the craving thing should be over but she had nobody to scratch her itch during that stage and she's so sexually frustrated she's about to burst. Alex just nods and complies, she's not the only one who's sexually frustrated. It doesn't take them long to settle into living together and Alex often finds himself thinking what if he hadn't have been such a moron in the first place. But Addison tells him not to regret. Because it doesn't matter anymore. And if he hadn't have made the mistake maybe they wouldn't be having their little angel. He knows she's right. At 8 months Addison is on maternity leave but spends most of her time at the practice anyway because she's so bored at home, so Alex knows to call there before he heads home, and then it's 1 week to her due date and he finds her in her office sat at her computer.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Looking at shoes" she shrugged "Deciding which ones to buy myself when my feet decided to go back to their normal size, oh god, what if they don't go back? What if I have huge swollen feet forever!" she exclaimed.

"Addie" Alex laughed "You won't, you'll slip right back into those heels"

"Hmm, you better hope I do Alex Karev" she mumbled.

"Come on, let's go home" he said walking over to her and helping her out of her chair "For the record, I love you like this" he said brushing his hand over the swell of her stomach "You look beautiful"

"I look horrible" she said burying her face into his body "I'm fat and, swollen and, horrible"

"Addie" he said softly, he placed two fingers under her chin and pushed her face up so she looked directly at him "You are beautiful, with or without the baby bump, I love you" he said kissing her softly, then she gasps a little and they both look down at the fluid which is puddling on the floor between them.

"Oh my god" Addison mumbles "OH my GOD!" she groans as a contraction hits her.

"Holy crap" Alex says slightly shocked "Ok, ok let's, let's get you to the birthing suite" he said guiding her towards the door "Oh my god she's really coming"

"Yeah" Addison laughed through the pain "She's coming"

~x~

It's 7 hours of screaming and threats before Addison starts pushing and she bans Alex from sex at least 9 times, he just nods and brushes the sweat from her forehead. And then their baby girl is placed on Addison's chest and they forget it all. And even Alex is shedding a few happy tears. And then he kisses her softly, and whispers I love you. And after cleaning Addison up Naomi leaves them alone, Alex sits on the bed with Addison, and arm wrapping around her shoulders, his cheek resting against her head as they both stare down at the bundle in her arms. A bundle they name Sophie Elouise Montgomery-Karev. And their world finally feels complete.

"She's more perfect than I thought she'd be" Alex said simply.

"Yeah?" Addison said with a laugh.

"Well, I knew she'd be perfect but, she's, even more perfect, she's amazing"

"Yeah" Addison breathed "She really is"

"Worth the pain?"

"Every second of it"

"Am I still banned from sex?"

"We'll see how I feel in 6 weeks" Addison smirked.

"Right" he said with a laugh "Do you feel ready to go home yet or do you want to sit here a little longer?"

"Let's just sit here" Addison whispered "Just for a little longer"

"Ok" Alex smiled kissing her temple "I love you Addie, both of you"

"I love both of you too" Addison smiled.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


End file.
